Disaster! At the Swan house
by Blood on a Rose
Summary: AU Bella/Edward. A humorous look at what could quite possibly happen if clumsy Bella took up such a stressful activity. Edward has been called from the house by Alice, but he doesn't know he's leaving Bella in immenent danger...


**DISCLAIMER: **Sadly I own none of this; I'm not making any money off of it, etc. It's just good clean fun!_

* * *

__Click. Clack._

"Bella?"

I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway of my living room. His perfect, Greek god body was casually leaning up against the doorframe, and his eyes were fixed on me.

"Yeah?"

"Alice just called. She said she needs me to come down, and check something out, so I'm going down to the house for a moment. You'll be fine without me?"

"I think I'll make it."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile, and walked over to the chair I was seated in. Kneeling by my chair our lips connected for a moment, but then my lips parted slightly, and he pulled back.

"Don't have too much fun without me." I breathed into his face.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said grimly.

I laughed at his expression, and his words, which caused him to wink at me.

He opened the door, giving me a glimpse of snow swirling outside, and a gust of icy, winter wind shot in before he closed the door.

I shivered at more than the wind, remembering how his kisses still made me feel. It's crazy that he still does this to me every time…

Breathe, Bella! Snap out of it! I shook my head to get rid of any lingering effects his touch had on me. What was I doing again? Oh yeah.

_Click. Clack._

My knitting needles clashed together as my bundle of yarn slowly revealed that I couldn't knit. At all.

I found the supplies in the linen closet upstairs, and I had figured that Renee must've gone through a knitting phase before I was born, but like everything else it hadn't stuck.

There was what I can only imagine to be a plush baby blanket in the bag, and I thought that she had started it for me, but it was only half-finished.

I couldn't figure out exactly what she had done to it to make it turn out like it had, but it seemed like I got my knitting talents from her. I found a gorgeous blue colored yarn in the bag with my baby blanket, and I knew Edward would love to see it on me in some fashion, so I was attempting to make a scarf out of the jumbled mess. Attempt being the key word here. So far it was only a few inches long, but it already had—unintentional—holes in it.

I glanced over at the pattern I was supposed to be following. '_Knitting for dummies_' was apparently still too advanced for me.

Frustrated I glared at the supposed scarf. _This is too difficult, it's not worth it, _I thought to myself. I shoved the offensive yarn mess into the edge of the chair cushion.

A clatter at the back of the house made me jump in my skin. My heart thumped erratically, and I called:

"Edward?"

No reply. _Damn_, just my luck that something would come visit me at the _only_ time my vampire isn't here.

Slowly I raised myself off the chair, and took careful steps towards the kitchen. As soon as I had walked two steps, the yarn from my scarf had somehow become tangled in my legs, and I tripped. On my way down to the floor I noticed that the knitting needles had somehow maneuvered themselves onto the ground underneath me, and I was about to be impaled on them.

_How is that even possible?! _This is like a stupid, corny, horror movie! Well, at least I won't have to think about it for very long…

My eyes opened. Wait, what? This was so disorienting. Hadn't I just been about to fall on my knitting needles and die?

I looked around, and saw that I was once again on my dad's favorite chair in the living room. The knitting needles in question were sitting harmlessly on my lap, and I touched them tentatively as if they were ferocious animals, but they stayed where they were.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Then the back door opened, and closed.

"Bella?" A voice called.

"In here." My voice was slightly higher than usual.

Edward appeared in the living room at my side at record speed.

"What's wrong? You're upset. What happened?" He looked inquiringly at me.

"One second."

I jumped off the chair, and disgustedly grabbed the yarn and needles. Then I proceeded up the stairs with a curious, confused Edward trailing behind me. I shoved the offensive material back where it came from in the linen closet, and closed the door.

"Bella, what happened?"

"Nothing, except for the fact that my imagination needs some exercise. I just had the strangest dream..."

* * *

That's it! Hoped you liked my attempt at a humorous Edward/Bella oneshot! R&R please! I don't care if you hate it and flame me, just give me something! There may be more of these in the future if my fanbase(haha) demands it.


End file.
